BEING AN OPTIMIST SUCKS

I’m interning at this awesome start-up called HubbNow, and I’m having a great time. I started blogging for the startup and that’s actually what got me to start this blog – its pretty fun! And my boss is great. I was slowly getting used to the sadness from moving away from my boyfriend and friends, so overall, I was actually feeling pretty okay. Now in this “okay” state of mine, a gift from the universe came – my internship was going to fly me to Bombay to work, where I could visit my friends for 2 weeks.

Let me explain. So the whole HubbNow team will be in the Bombay office because of the launch of the product, so they were going to fly me down too. For reference, when my boss told me I could come, this is what my face looked like:

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I WAS SO HAPPY. I was sending texts to my friends in Mumbai like “TAKE THIS AS A LIFE LESSON THE UNIVERSE ALWAYS REWARDS YOU FOR HARD WORK AND NOW I GET TO COME HOME FOR 2 WEEKS.” Yes I know, I’m a real interesting friend to have. I was on top of the world for like 4 hours, waiting for my boss to call my parents and figure out logistics etc. But then a couple complications came up, and I was brought down to earth because there were still things that could go wrong.

But I’m a full time optimist. So I was still extremely happy and excited.

One by one, all those complications were solved – I got a TB test I needed to get we rescheduled things so I’d have those 2 weeks free… it was all good, and my optimism stayed put as usual.

But then as my parents correctly so pointed out, I’m just an intern, they don’t really have an urgency to fly me down to Bombay, so they may decide to not. But my optimism kept telling me that they still might. Bad move, optimism.

So over the past 4 days, I’ve played out scenarios of how I’ll surprise my friends and boyfriend, what presents I’ll take home for them, what I’ll wear to the Mumbai office etc. It had been 4 days, and I hadn’t heard back from my boss yet, so I was slowly realizing that I might not actually go. This morning, I got the email saying I’m not going. Which brings me to my point – being an optimist kind of sucks.

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My optimism had put me at an all time high, I was ridiculously happy. But because of that, the disappointment and dejection I felt when I found out was also MASSIVE. I always knew that being an optimist comes along with disappointments, but I have never fully realized it until now, because this is one of the worst situations I’ve been in – alone in California away from all my friends and my boyfriend. So if you’re an optimist, know the following things:

  • You’re going to have some disappointments, because outcomes aren’t always great.
  • You’re going to have to be a full time optimist and make the best out of disappointments too if you want to be happy.
  • There will be times when being an optimist is the hardest things ever and it will suck (like it is for me right now) and you may even hope that you never were an optimist.
  • But, in the long run, optimism is a great mindset to have. I do think every optimist should have a realist in their life (or a dash of realism in their personality) to keep them on earth though. Shoutout to the realist in my life, you know who you are 😉

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As for me, I’m still feeling low. I’m just hoping my feelings will sort themselves out. Not feeling up to the whole optimist thing, but I have to make myself be if I’m going to be happy.

Yashvi Tibrewal